Episode 8: George S. Lamb is a Louisville divorce attorney. In this episode, he’ll discuss the process of preparing your divorce mindset. There are issues you’ll need to consider. George will add his perspective to help you prepare for this process and the future to be found beyond it.
The Seasonality of Divorce Filings
People may not realize it, but the number of divorce filings tends to decrease toward the end of the year. After that, they tend to increase as the new year gets underway. George explains the beginning of a new year is a natural catalyst for divorce filings. There are many reasons.
One reason divorce filings slow toward the end of the year can be attributed to the holidays. There may be an unwillingness to make the situation public during the get-togethers with family and friends. Doing so could generate questions and drama that you might simply want to avoid.
The milestone of starting a new year can be an emotional trigger that often leads one or both spouses to decide to wind down the marriage and move forward. Sometimes it’s a decision by one spouse. At times, it can also be a decision reached by both spouses. Either way, the seasons often relate to the process of preparing your divorce mindset. Timing is an integral part of it.
The Impact of the Family-Fiscal Calendar
George comments about how the lives of most families or households typically run on a calendar. The same goes for the tax year and the school year. So, there’s a natural way of looking at life as January through December. The number of divorce filings naturally follow a similar orientation.
Episode 3 was on the topic of divorce planning. As one begins to think about divorce, assuming there is time available to really dig into all of the issues, it’s easy to see how that slow down might occur and then recover in the new year.
If the couple has school-aged children the end of a calendar year is basically the middle. Filing for divorce at the beginning of the upcoming year would provide time to plan for how this would affect where the children will attend school, at the start of the new school year.
Finances and Jobs Factor into Preparing Your Divorce Mindset
Finances are always a significant issue in divorces. As George described in a previous episode, often after the divorce “the family” now has the same income with double the expenses. There are now two homes with utility bills, maintenance, property taxes, etc.
Generally speaking, companies may have made promotions at the end of the year, enabling the business to get off to a faster start. Conversely, many companies do layoffs in the 4th quarter, so this may have impacted one spouse. Job-related relocation decisions may have already been made by the start of the new year.
Preparing for the Time It Will Take to Get Divorced
Getting through the divorce process usually doesn’t happen quickly. If there are limited assets, no children and agreement on the major, remaining issues, a divorce can proceed more quickly. However, if children and other key factors are involved, you should expect several months, at a minimum. The court will require a 60-day separation before granting a divorce order, if children are involved.
Reaching agreement on the division of assets and debts, establishing parenting time arrangements and child support are the types of key factors that take time to work through, during the divorce negotiations. Agreeing on spousal maintenance, the division of retirement accounts and other issues also require time to properly address.
The legal process itself also takes time. Filing petitions and responses require time and unanticipated delays. The exchanging of financial disclosures also takes time to document and review. Is a family-owned business involved? Does one of the spouses own a business? There’s a process of reaching a proper, business valuation as part of the proceedings.
In Jefferson County, you will be required to go through mediation to resolve many of these issues and any others that arise. The give-and-take during a mediation can help to reach agreements on some, many or even all of the issues at hand. George recognizes the value in the couple having a bit more control during the process of a mediation, as compared to risking a judge’s decision on major factors impacting your life.
If the issues cannot be settled in mediation, the attorneys will move for a trial date that has to be coordinated between the judge’s calendar and each of the attorneys’ calendars. This can add months to the process.
Even after all of the petitions and hearings have been completed, you’ll still need to wait for the judge to make a final decision. Again, understanding the time required is an important part of preparing your divorce mindset.
The important point to consider is that you probably don’t want to be here on January of the following year. If that’s true, then filing for divorce earlier in the year would seem to make sense.
Prepare for the Emotional Rollercoaster
Whether you think you’re ready or not, this process is going to have an emotional impact on you. Now is a good time to put together a support system of family and friends who are going to be willing to stand by your side as the divorce process unfolds.
George admits people deal with divorce in different ways. Some are relatively open, while others are fairly private. However you see yourself, it’s going to be a good idea to identify those family members and friends you’ll need to lean on over the next several months. This might also include a therapist or counselor. George recommends keeping this circle close. A smaller circle might be better for a variety of reasons. Avoid relying on Facebook therapy.
Be Prepared to Work with Your Attorney, not against Him or Her
No question is too dumb. Don’t be embarrassed to ask about issues or legal procedures you don’t understand. You and your attorney need to be on the same page through the divorce process.
If you’re thinking about taking a certain action or making an important decision, run it by your attorney for his/her perspective and advice. It may help you to avoid doing something that could make your case more difficult. Learn to let your attorney guide you. He/She will understand how the judge and opposing counsel will view certain actions.
Realize that a divorce is often emotionally charged, at any given moment. The knee-jerk reaction may feel right at the time, but it may ultimately do more harm than good. George describes it as being more emotional that tactical. Your divorce attorney will help you to align this immediate goal with the bigger picture of achieving more of your goals in the long run. This is an important step in preparing your divorce mindset.
Be honest with your attorney. You’ll have attorney-client privilege. Don’t let your attorney be caught off-guard because you were less than honest about something you’ve told him/her. Be open with your attorney. There are options available, assuming your attorney has time to devise a path to effectively deal with an issue, regardless of how embarrassed or guilty you may feel admitting it.
Is It Time to Contact George?
If you answered yes, the best way is to reach out to him on his cell phone at (502) 640-9797. You can call and/or text him. He’ll be happy to speak with you.
In the next episode, George will explore the issue of Emergency Protective Orders and Domestic Violence Orders (EPOs and DVOs), so be sure to follow this podcast for new episodes.
We hope you enjoyed today’s episode. The information provided is not meant to be legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not establish an attorney-client relationship. However, if it is time for a lawyer, George is ready to listen. He’d appreciated it of you’d consider sharing this episode on your social media.
Going forward, we’ll launch a new episode every other week. You can connect with George on the firm’s Facebook page, on the website, as well as on Spotify, iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts and other platforms.
Lamb & Lamb, PSC is located at 4310 Robards Lane, in Louisville. The office phone number is (502) 451-6881.
